Another Day Without

I have been working on living a life without drinking. So far, I haven't started going to A.A. meetings, but I will start soon. I have always done things on my own, and have been sober for over a week now. My head is still a jumble of thoughts, and I am still trying to put them all together in some order.
This blog is one of the ways to help me do this, and also to cope with problems that have been persisting and festering. I have been a pain and burden, and probably cause some more later, but hopefully not. While being a father is the best thing I could do, I am also a terrible parent in some aspects. I have to deal with this fact on a daily basis, and it is always in my subconscious.
My wife feels I have never supported her in any of her endeavors, and has felt alone for so long, that now we are almost at wits end. I never wanted it to go so far, but it did, and now the consequences could be dire. As days progress, I see exactly where she is coming from, and also know that I value her more than she realizes. I am proud of all that she has accomplished, from gaining a higher position at work to raising our son as best she can with me as a husband.
Don't get me wrong, for the most part I am a great dad, although I have my moments of absolute idiocy and stupidity. I don't think sometimes about what I am saying or doing. It's these few moments where my anger gets the best of me and I let myself down. I am not perfect by any means, I am just a man trying his best to be all that is expected of him and more.