Double reset

"I guess it could be a life that gets better, but we won't be able to tell until later."
I heard these words, or read them someplace....I think. We all know how hard it can be to juggle life with a career, family, kids, birthdays, car problems, news, etc. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, and consume us. Some days we let our problems get the best of us and we lose ourselves in pity. I know I have, and I know it can cost you to continue down these slippery slope.
Here goes, I am an alcoholic. Not in the sense that I need a drink every day, but I can't stop when I start, and it usually ends badly. I have lost respect, dear friends, and almost my family due to me being selfish.
Yes, it is selfishness, the want to drink, to numb myself to problems which were caused by me or a simple problem turned big for no reason. There are moments where I caved in to this want, and thrown myself off the path I had started when I started this blog. I know I have tried many times to justify what I was doing, "It's just one drink." Or "I've had a rough day, so..." but these were just excuses for allowing myself to fall into that trap.
I don't expect everyone to do the same as me, but I am writing this because I want to give hope to others and vent a bit if I may. I have resumed working out, and resetting my schedule. It doesn't seem possible, but I actually enjoy the feeling of structure in my life. It's easy, it's organized, it simplifies problems that occurred in the past.
I have pushed my love life to the limit, and with a push back, I realized that I haven't been living, but just existing. There were plenty of things I wanted to do when I was younger, there were opportunities missed, and relationships broken. I want to change that. I want to help myself and others out. There was a time where I did these things to better myself, and I think I need to get back there.
Today, my challenge is to help out a stranger. Somehow, some way, one good deed can change a mind set.