Realizing the Problem

Words flowed from last night's guest speaker at the A.A. Meeting which really made me feel a bit more at ease. Let me explain a bit about the situation he talked about which led me to this. He explained that he used to fight well, pretty much everyone. His anger and frustrations were taken out on others and this was an excuse to drink.
I am no story teller, so he could explain it better, but he knew that fighting was his addiction attempting to surface again. He constantly battled it, knowing that it was a problem, he would have to pause and reflect, giving himself time to cool down. My story is a bit different.
I only fought with a few people, my addiction didn't see it as a way of getting through. Instead, I would bicker with my wife, have a hard day at work, and just about any other excuse to have a drink. "I work hard, I deserve to have a few drinks after work." I would say. Truth be told, I didn't deserve those drinks, because one beer would turn into two, then eight, then twelve. This would go on until it was early in the morning and I would have to work that day, or until I passed out. I deserved it though, right? Because I was functioning, I was a normal part of society, right? No, was covering up the fact that I couldn't stop when I started. I couldn't face reality.
I recently read somewhere that "you are not your mind." "OK, I thought, that makes no sense." The truth is, you aren't your mind. You are a passenger for your conscious thoughts, a vessel, a conduit, and a robot for these thoughts.
Your subconsciousness is a part of you that KNOWS what is right, knows what you need, and it tries to tell you in dreams and reactions to things. It scared me thinking this way, but I guess I need a good scare here and there.