I know, we all have problems. I just never dealt with them the right way. I used to get drunk and forget it. Now, dealing with problems are getting a clear head and I have to choose what to do. I guess I need to do what I feel is right, but I am now wondering about consequences.
There are conflicts of interest between my wife and I, she has things that she wants, but they conflict with things that I think need talked about or done. It may be my selfishness or maybe it's hers, I don't know, but it is killing me inside to know this. I wish I could tell her without it turning into a huge fight. I was told that you can't change the outcome of the situation, I know this, but I don't get it yet. Some day, hopefully I can get through to myself and understand my own shortcomings. I'm very hard headed, you know, and I serve myself a heaping pile of, you know what. I have an inferiority complex, I can tell you that. I always feel like the small man in the room, even though I am 6 feet tall and 180 lbs. I don't think I am that great looking, and I feel terrible about how I have acted, and currently act.
I did do a good deed yesterday, I was talking with one of my fellow members, and told him about how I felt about crunch time and deadlines. I told him that he needs to trick himself, and set up a deadline for himself, and he will reap better results.
Tonight, he said he sat down and set a deadline, and pushed himself to hit it. He said it gave him a bit of breathing room, and he could sit and do it again for the next few nights to hit his deadline. It made me feel good, and I needed a bit of encouragement. I don't get that much, and I really need to hear it once in a while.
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